Stupid, stupid technology

I'm convinced I have the dumbest phone in existence. I'm not saying crappy, because, feature-wise, it fuctions properly. It just has the unfortunate tendency of not ringing when someone is calling me. As it is, I have a legion of friends who think 1) I screen my phone calls, 2) never have my phone with me or 3) I just don't want to talk to them. Although sometimes numbers 2 and 3 are actually the case and 1 is an just an unescapable consequence of cell phones having caller ID, the reality is that I just don't know half the time that people are calling me.

Of course, this could all be due to the fact that I'm using what is, in essence, a free phone. Like they (whoever 'they' may be) say, you can't get something for nothing. In this case, I traded my confidence in the fact that I'm receiving all correspondances in a timely manner with a piece of crap cell phone which is probably cooking my brain everytime I put it next to my ear. The easy course of action is to assume that it all has to do with the nebulous ether we call cell phone reception and ignore the fact that, according to the phone itself, I'm just overflowing with airwave signal. I'm not one for choosing the easy course of action.

For now, I'm going to assume that my cell phone is just plain dumb. It simply just doesn't understand what it's supposed to do when it notices that I have an incoming call, if it notices it at all. I have the Forrest Gump of phones, but without the lucrative shrimping business.
I only bring this up because I was sort of expecting/hoping for a call tonight. It turns out I got it...an hour ago. So, if the person who called me just happens to read this before I get a chance to speak with them, rest assured that neither 1, 2, nor 3 represent the situation tonight. What I need to advertisement to everyone I know is that there actually is a 4th option: phone being dumb. In fact, that should be the default assumption.

The next time you call me and you hit my voice mail just chuckle to yourself and say out loud "That phone of Daves...it can be just so dumb sometimes!" in your best June Cleaver tone of voice. Maybe shake your head while doing it to complete the look (slapping of the thigh is not necessarily recommend as it might make you look absolutely ridiculous in front of your friends).
And please leave a message at the beep.