Guys do NOT have diaries
Crap. I think this has officially become my diary. It was never meant to be but this is the first thing I come to now when there's something on my mind. Second to friends, of course, but when they are not around, this is it.
The reason why I write that is because I have this interminable feeling of weight on my mind tonight that started somewhere around hour 1.5 at the mall today. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just hate being in the mall. Ever since, though, I've been feeling downright horrible. Not sick, not depressed, no weary. Lost. That's probably the best way of describing it. I have this terrible feeling of my head spinning at a million miles an hour and it doesn't know where to stop. Or, rather, it has countless places to stop but doesn't know which is correct. It probably stems from the fact that is supposed to be a fun three day weekend and 1) I have to work on Monday and 2) I have nothing incredibly fun planned for tomorrow (or today for that matter). Not that this is something new. Usually I'm content with doing my own little thing. Not today. There's either something terribly wrong with the world or I have an internal chemical imbalance. I'm voting for chemical imbalance for everyone else's sake but I'm not taking any bets just yet. I'm willing to chalk it up to inhaling too much mall atmosphere. That stuff will kill ya'...
What really gets me, and I realize this, is that I feel like I wasted my entire day with work and the mall. I hate wasting my days though I couldn't tell you what else I would've done. No, I probably could tell you. There are a hundred things. That's what bothers me. There's too much to do and not enough good weekends to do them on and I feel like I'm blowing this one. I put WAY too much pressure on myself. Weekends are supposed to be fun and if too much emphasis is put on them being fun, they stop being fun.
Tonight I'm off with some friend(s) and an assortment of others that I don't know to have something. Fun? A beer? I hope so, but probably not in that order :)
Mood of the day: sideways
On a high note, I have date number two tomorrow night with the very nice girl. I'm really looking forward to it because, as it turns out, she's a pretty cool person. Let's hope she feels the same about me :) Let's also hope she's not reading this because that might be awkward...
The reason why I write that is because I have this interminable feeling of weight on my mind tonight that started somewhere around hour 1.5 at the mall today. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I just hate being in the mall. Ever since, though, I've been feeling downright horrible. Not sick, not depressed, no weary. Lost. That's probably the best way of describing it. I have this terrible feeling of my head spinning at a million miles an hour and it doesn't know where to stop. Or, rather, it has countless places to stop but doesn't know which is correct. It probably stems from the fact that is supposed to be a fun three day weekend and 1) I have to work on Monday and 2) I have nothing incredibly fun planned for tomorrow (or today for that matter). Not that this is something new. Usually I'm content with doing my own little thing. Not today. There's either something terribly wrong with the world or I have an internal chemical imbalance. I'm voting for chemical imbalance for everyone else's sake but I'm not taking any bets just yet. I'm willing to chalk it up to inhaling too much mall atmosphere. That stuff will kill ya'...
What really gets me, and I realize this, is that I feel like I wasted my entire day with work and the mall. I hate wasting my days though I couldn't tell you what else I would've done. No, I probably could tell you. There are a hundred things. That's what bothers me. There's too much to do and not enough good weekends to do them on and I feel like I'm blowing this one. I put WAY too much pressure on myself. Weekends are supposed to be fun and if too much emphasis is put on them being fun, they stop being fun.
Tonight I'm off with some friend(s) and an assortment of others that I don't know to have something. Fun? A beer? I hope so, but probably not in that order :)
Mood of the day: sideways
On a high note, I have date number two tomorrow night with the very nice girl. I'm really looking forward to it because, as it turns out, she's a pretty cool person. Let's hope she feels the same about me :) Let's also hope she's not reading this because that might be awkward...
posted by The Rube at Saturday, September 03, 2005
2 Comments:
Now see, the secret to enjoying a trip to the mall is letting your friends know you're going, so that maybe, just maybe they could "happen" to run into you at said mall...that is, if you were by some odd coincidence at the same mall that I spent a couple of hours at today.
But I think you're overthinking this...part of the fun of weekends is letting them flow where they may...whether you end up doing something or not. =)
I overthink. That's just what I do. I'm surprised you haven't caught onto that by now :)
I'll let you know next time I'm at the mall. Then we can "coincidentally" run into each other.
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