Let's narrow it down...
Here are some basic guidelines to use while determining if an online "match" is actually a good one:
1) She is not taller than 5'5". I recently got "matched" to a girl who is 5'9". I have nothing against women taller than me but, really, the mechanics would be mind boggling.
2) She doesn't mention anything about "finding a man". The phrase itself, "a man", makes me think that the concept of a man is more important than who the person actually is. Yes, I am a man, but I'm more than that and it's about time someone notices :)
3) She's not looking for a God-fearing man. As far from being religious as I am, I have nothing against someone who has a strong faith. However, if your goal is to fear God, then you must not have a very nice God and I'd rather stay out of his circle.
4) Her profile lacks photos of her posing on the hood of any kind of motored vehicle. That's only attractive in White Snake videos and it comes to close to a twisted NASCAR fantasy.
I recently signed up for eHarmony on the assumption that, if the less expensive dating sites are n't doing me any good, I'm probably just not spending enough money. eHarmony took care of that no problem. Now, if eH can just take these four criteria into account I'll be finding the love of my life in no time. It's about time I find myself a woman.
1) She is not taller than 5'5". I recently got "matched" to a girl who is 5'9". I have nothing against women taller than me but, really, the mechanics would be mind boggling.
2) She doesn't mention anything about "finding a man". The phrase itself, "a man", makes me think that the concept of a man is more important than who the person actually is. Yes, I am a man, but I'm more than that and it's about time someone notices :)
3) She's not looking for a God-fearing man. As far from being religious as I am, I have nothing against someone who has a strong faith. However, if your goal is to fear God, then you must not have a very nice God and I'd rather stay out of his circle.
4) Her profile lacks photos of her posing on the hood of any kind of motored vehicle. That's only attractive in White Snake videos and it comes to close to a twisted NASCAR fantasy.
I recently signed up for eHarmony on the assumption that, if the less expensive dating sites are n't doing me any good, I'm probably just not spending enough money. eHarmony took care of that no problem. Now, if eH can just take these four criteria into account I'll be finding the love of my life in no time. It's about time I find myself a woman.
posted by The Rube at Friday, April 14, 2006
5 Comments:
Well Rube listen to a more 'mature' voice of experience on matters of the heart. After all we're working on 12 years of blissful matrimony now.
I too had a list of at least 7 points of compatibility and requisites for a mate. They included:
1. Being able to armpit fart the main chorus of 'The Flight Of The Bumblebee'.
2. Must wear the same size shoe as me to make shopping easier. Never again will I have to return shoes that don't fit.
3. Can spit a watermelon seed far enough to hit a target 6 feet or more away.
4. Embraces flatulence humor on a serious level.
5. Must not be prettier than me.
6. Will automatically peel all my boiled shrimp.
7. Has to be willing to chicken dance with me, anytime, anyplace.
Such stringent criteria I know but when you're looking for a soul mate you have to be totally honest in what you're seeking. Hope this list aids you in your own search for happiness.
If you'd convert to my faith I can guarantee quality chicks will be lining up to go out with you. (NO, I'm NOT a pimp) You're adorable, educated, and work with humanitarian causes. That's very appealing to us womenfolk. Don't give up the fight Rube!
Thank you!! You may be quite possibly the first person I know who will admit that it's okay to judge potential dates by their height! For years, I've had friends question me on why I'm looking for a guy who's at least a certain height...like I was being shallow or something. But I definitely think height plays a role in finding someone attractive, and in being comfortable around that person.
Wow...we actually agree on something. That could be scary! =)
it's good to know that I'd be a hot item amongst EWBL's Christian friends. Maybe you could get some of them to convert to Judaism.
I should note that I absolutely refuse to do the chicken dance. Keep those friends away from me.
I keep telling you Rube. "No, my first name ain't EWBL, it's elasticwaistbandlady. Miss Elastic if you're nasty". I never miss a chance to work in a Janet Jackson reference, ever.
As for the height thing my husband and I are both a towering, and imposing 5'6. It makes life easy for me while shopping for his pants. We do also wear the same shoe size. The looks I've gotten while trying on a pair of shiny black Florsheim wingtips over my pink flamingo socks have been absolutely priceless.
Since you recently returned from Mexico you can modify that portion of the list to read 'Dance The Macarena' in place of chicken dance. I'm sure you're the hottest Jew on the disco dance floor when they start playing The Macarena. In this case its an AYE rather than an OY!
You got add to it women who answer what are the five things they are grateful are:
1) Cell Phone
2) Car
3) TV
4) Hair Dryer
5) ..
Oh they sound so interesting...
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