Nocturnal Positions
I'm a strange guy. Really. No way around that fact. I'm going to use this space today to prove that fact. I know, a lot of proof is not necessary. You can more or less assume that I'm on the far side of the line separating the normals from the not-so-normals. There are a few habits I have, however, that are relatively unknown by the masses and rightfully so. For instance, I have a tendency of doing some incredibly strange things in bed.
That last sentence was to gross out the members of my family who read this. Raise your hand if you want to know about my sexual habits...riiight. That would be none of you. Let's keep it that way. What I really meant, though, was that I do some really strange things while sleeping. Oh, I know...you're thinking that there's nothing extraordinary about this since most people have weird sleeping habits and there's a good chance you believe that there's nothing I can tell you that you haven't already done yourself. It's possible, but I think I can give you a run for you money here.
For instance, it's not uncommon for me to wake up with less clothing than I went to sleep with. Sure, you've done that. The shirt you had one when you went to bed is now bunched up on the floor next to you. Maybe it got a little warm at night and you took the time to wake up and take it off and then just forgot about it in the morning. Have you ever woken up with more clothing on than when you started? Yup. Done that.
The other day I woke up lying the wrong way on my bed. That is, the end of the bed where my feet were at night was the end of the bed where my head was in the morning. This is not uncommon. This recent activity was a special case. I was laying diagonal across my bed with a balled up t-shirt in the crook of my elbow, much like I was carrying a football. This case was explainable due to the dream I had right before I woke up. I was playing football and there was a fumbled ball so I picked it up and started running down the field. Hence the pose on my bed. Interesting.
My greatest achievement is bound to amaze you. I have not found one story that parallels what I accomplished one night. Keep in mind, I vaguely remember this so the details are hazy. For some reason, I woke up one night and decided that my bed need to be turned around. I then proceeded to get out of bed, rotate the sucker 180 degrees, and then hopped back into bed and didn't wake up until morning. Did I mention that I had no idea in the morning how my bed got turned around? Now you're asking how I knew that my bed was rotate since a bed rotated 180 degrees is remarkably similar to a bed rotated 0 degrees. That's were bed sheets come into play. Yes, my dear Watson, the bed sheets gave it way. Would that be considered sleep-redecorating?
The list goes on and on but you get the point. Weird stuff.
Happy thought of the day: Yankees won tonight, game 5 tomorrow!
That last sentence was to gross out the members of my family who read this. Raise your hand if you want to know about my sexual habits...riiight. That would be none of you. Let's keep it that way. What I really meant, though, was that I do some really strange things while sleeping. Oh, I know...you're thinking that there's nothing extraordinary about this since most people have weird sleeping habits and there's a good chance you believe that there's nothing I can tell you that you haven't already done yourself. It's possible, but I think I can give you a run for you money here.
For instance, it's not uncommon for me to wake up with less clothing than I went to sleep with. Sure, you've done that. The shirt you had one when you went to bed is now bunched up on the floor next to you. Maybe it got a little warm at night and you took the time to wake up and take it off and then just forgot about it in the morning. Have you ever woken up with more clothing on than when you started? Yup. Done that.
The other day I woke up lying the wrong way on my bed. That is, the end of the bed where my feet were at night was the end of the bed where my head was in the morning. This is not uncommon. This recent activity was a special case. I was laying diagonal across my bed with a balled up t-shirt in the crook of my elbow, much like I was carrying a football. This case was explainable due to the dream I had right before I woke up. I was playing football and there was a fumbled ball so I picked it up and started running down the field. Hence the pose on my bed. Interesting.
My greatest achievement is bound to amaze you. I have not found one story that parallels what I accomplished one night. Keep in mind, I vaguely remember this so the details are hazy. For some reason, I woke up one night and decided that my bed need to be turned around. I then proceeded to get out of bed, rotate the sucker 180 degrees, and then hopped back into bed and didn't wake up until morning. Did I mention that I had no idea in the morning how my bed got turned around? Now you're asking how I knew that my bed was rotate since a bed rotated 180 degrees is remarkably similar to a bed rotated 0 degrees. That's were bed sheets come into play. Yes, my dear Watson, the bed sheets gave it way. Would that be considered sleep-redecorating?
The list goes on and on but you get the point. Weird stuff.
Happy thought of the day: Yankees won tonight, game 5 tomorrow!
posted by The Rube at Sunday, October 09, 2005
1 Comments:
Aw, give it up on the Yankees already! =)
But while your tastes in baseball team are questionable, your taste in music isn't bad. Found a CD by Tristan Prettyman this weekend, and have to say I enjoyed it...probably not as much as you, because you like drooling over her, too...but a good listen nonetheless.
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